“My mum is terrified about me making this documentary. She cried the other day. I think it terrifies her knowing that I could go back to the person I used to be.”

These are the opening lines of ‘Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out’, a BBC1 documentary filmed in 2019 which follows the former Little Mix star as she goes on a journey of rehabilitation. She opens up about the abuse she suffered at the hands of cyberbullies, a trauma that drove her to attempt to take her own life with an overdose. Those closest to Jesy were worried that revisiting these traumatic experiences may cause her to have a relapse in her mental health.

There have been similar concerns surrounding my writing projects, some of which draw from my experiences of living with a serious mental illness. I have explored trauma including a violent assault that nearly killed me, being arrested and locked up, episodes of psychosis, potentially life threatening self-harm and an overdose that left me in a coma. Facing my demons was difficult. However, I felt mine was a story that needed to be told. I wanted to show people who are struggling with mental illness that they not alone, that successes are possible in spite of the difficulties they face, and that recovery can be achieved with the right support in place.

There is evidence to support the argument that writing out trauma can be potentially dangerous. In Psychology Today, American trauma therapist Doctor Odelya Kraybill writes, ‘research has found that telling the trauma story can sometimes be harmful and retraumatise the client’. She goes on to propose that there is a risk that writing about trauma can cause ‘emotional flooding’ that adds to the injury and pain. Psychotherapist Mark Tyrrell agrees that trying to put traumatic experiences into words can reactivate them in the brain. This process can increase arousal to the point of overload and trap harmful sensory impressions in the amygdala.

Jen Cross, founder of Writing Ourselves Whole, an organisation that facilitates writing workshops for survivors of sexual trauma, proposes that resurrecting our true stories is integral to deep humanity. She endorses openhearted writing communities as creating both individual and social transformation. The process creates a space to put the pain on a page, release the hold it has on us, and restore our bodies and minds. In The Therapeutic Nature of Creative Writing, Doctor Gillie Bolton supports this argument. She suggests that explorative writing can be deeply healing and therapeutic, and can help us make contact with out strong, trustworthy selves. It is different to talking therapies in that a person can pace the process to suit their own needs and keep it private until they decide to share it.

To gain insight into these conflicting arguments I conducted an interview with Mary Kellary, a BACP accredited counsellor who has worked with clients that have experienced trauma.

Mary agreed that writing out trauma can be beneficial but it must be client-led:

Writing about traumatic experiences can be cathartic in helping clients come to terms with what happened, however the timing needs to be right and only when the client feels ready as opening up past traumatic events too soon could cause a further traumatic state.

Mary emphasised that the counsellor should be careful how writing about trauma is introduced:

As with most techniques in counselling, this would be more in the context of ‘sowing the seeds’. Put the suggestion to the client that this is a proven form of trauma therapy and allow them the space to discuss the pros and cons of this activity should they need to. But ultimately the decision to go ahead lies with them if and when the time feels right and that time might not be now.

I asked Mary what advice she would give to a client who was considering writing about trauma:

To only do it when they feel ready, not to feel pressured by others to do this activity, accept that it is okay to pause the writing and put things on hold if things become uncomfortable, and speak to their therapist about any uncomfortable feelings that should arise during the process.

Writing out trauma can be cathartic and helpful in coming to terms with what happened. It can release painful emotions and be deeply healing and therapeutic. However, it is crucial that writing out traumatic experiences is done only when the time feels right, as reliving trauma too soon can be harmful and cause a relapse. It is important that the right support is in place to manage any uncomfortable feelings, and the writer must be mindful of when it is the right time to stop, take a break and do something soothing.

“All of us have fears and horrors buried inside. We can choose to live with these and not face the pain of them, or we can undertake an exercise like therapeutic writing.”

Doctor Gillie Bolton